A social experiment in my very own home

Hello people,

Exciting things have been happening in my house! Well, exciting for me. You see, I'm a planning person. I'm also a productive person. I dislike when plans get changed for the worse, and I dislike wasting time. This can lead to minor hissy fits or breakdowns on my part when an evening is, in my opinion, wasted. Plans are changed and at the end of the night, not enough has been accomplished to satisfy me.

After one such evening last week, we had a change in my household. We decided we both were not respecting the wishes and time of the other person enough. We both felt that we were trying to do things to make the other person happy, yet neither of us was happy. My hubby and I decided to change the way we viewed each other's time. We decided to be more independent in our activities, and with respect to time, interact more like roommates.

For example, we would not guilt the other person for not doing what we thought they should be doing. Or I would not expect him to come to the gym with me. If I wanted to I could invite him, and I would be okay with whatever answer he gave. I was not expected to make him lunch, and he was not expected to make me dinner. In short, we would each do what we wanted, and we could invite the other person to join in if we so desired.

It sounds weird, but it's worked. In fact the only problems have been when one of us did not follow the rules of the week. Overall, my husband has not dropped the ball and become completely irresponsible about household tasks, like I feared :-) He still pitches in to walk the dog, fold laundry, do dishes, etc. I enjoy feeling like I can truly do whatever I want. Then, if something doesn't get done, the only one to blame is myself.

Marriage can be difficult, as proven by the high divorce rate and today's separation of the Gores. It's important to work on respecting each other and maintaining some independence. This week's experiment has been good for us in these respects.